Author Topic: grief  (Read 687 times)

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LBSS

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grief
« on: January 09, 2018, 10:25:18 pm »
+6
My brother killed himself on Saturday. He had no ID on him so my family didn't find out until today (Tuesday evening east coast time, Wednesday morning my time). He was 26. I don't know what to do.

Sorry to dump that on you all, my mostly anonymous internet friends. But it helps to write it down and share it and I'm not ready to do that on social media yet.

Will probably go for a quite long run today.
Muscles are nonsensical they have nothing to do with this bullshit.

- Avishek

handstand + backflip + flag

fast does lie

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Re: grief
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2018, 12:06:06 am »
+2
dam... sorry
33yrs | 24in SVJ | >45% BF | 227LB | 5'9 | 7'5 reach | 400lb max squat paused | 5'8 wingspan | 26in RVJ

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Mutumbo000

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Re: grief
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2018, 03:48:26 am »
+2
That's devastating. Did he leave a letter or anything? From what you said about your brother he was struggling with a few demons and addiction but no doubt it would come as a shock for anyone for someone to take their own life. RIP. It's always difficult. I've lost a few friends to suicide and I'm always left with thoughts about why and sometimes I struggle with myself and think thoughts like "why didn't they reach out to me" or "is there something that we could have done to prevent this" etc. Sorry for your loss!!

Personally I'd be flying back home asap and spending some time with your family.
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adarqui

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Re: grief
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2018, 06:55:04 am »
+1
My brother killed himself on Saturday. He had no ID on him so my family didn't find out until today (Tuesday evening east coast time, Wednesday morning my time). He was 26. I don't know what to do.

Sorry to dump that on you all, my mostly anonymous internet friends. But it helps to write it down and share it and I'm not ready to do that on social media yet.

Will probably go for a quite long run today.

My jaw is dropped right now.

Even with all of the things that you've posted about your brother over the years, when he went hiking with you, I thought to myself that he looked happy and assumed that he must have been doing better than years past. Obviously it's only a small glimpse from the outside looking in without much other context, but i'm just shocked. I was hopeful that he was mostly improving. Maybe I was just being optimistic, which is easier from the outside.

That is some devastating news.

Personally, I don't think there's any advice you can offer someone in situations like these, but I know for sure you are a very strong person, so I know you will handle this perhaps better than most would. Not sure about your parents however, so i'm wishing for you, and especially them, extra strength during this tragedy.

Love you man.

vag

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Re: grief
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2018, 07:05:29 am »
+2
That is so bad :( :( :( My true and sincere condolences my friend, i am really really sorry.
I have lost a very close relative similarly, details don't matter, but i somewhat know how it feels.
You probably know already because smart people are also cynical, there are no replies to the questions. It is an illness that kills, just like cancer, that's all to it.
But regardless of the cause, the tragedy of the loss, and the loss's own substance is the same.
I am very sorry again! As we say here , may you all live long to remember him!
woot

LBSS

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Re: grief
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2018, 08:37:58 am »
+1
different brother, adarq. i talked to the hiking brother a bunch today. it's our younger brother (i'm the oldest) who died. thank you.

and thanks vag, mutumbo, fast.
Muscles are nonsensical they have nothing to do with this bullshit.

- Avishek

handstand + backflip + flag

arnoud

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Re: grief
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2018, 08:49:34 am »
+2
I wish you strength man. I have known people who committed suicide, and they all did it out of the blue. I hope you will keep talking to people about your feelings, and hope you will keep feeling welcome to post on these boards. I got nothing to cheer you up, I can not even imagine the pain you are going through. Once again I wish you strength man.

LoopieMclooperson

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Re: grief
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2018, 10:31:01 am »
+2
Condolences to you and your family. Stay in close contact with your parents/brother, you will need each others support more then ever.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2018, 12:19:50 pm by LoopieMclooperson »
5'10"- 170lbs - 38 yrs - reach - 7'6" (90") - 27" SVJ - 30" RVJ - 245# Full squat
Progress Tracker - http://www.adarq.org/progress-journals-experimental-routines/loopie's-log/msg24864/#msg24864


seifullaah73

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Re: grief
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2018, 11:38:12 am »
+2
Damn man that is awful. I can only imagine how painful this is for you.

There are no words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss and wish I could be there for you. Like others have mentioned it's best if you talk to people about your feelings instead bottling it as that can lead to depression, which is a road you don't want to go down.

Be strong, you can get through this.  :highfive:
----------------------------------------------------------------
Note for self:
A
>>    Jump Squats
>>    Half Squats
>>    Partials at the bottom: 3-5 x 15 (very controlled)
>>    Calf Raises
>>    RDL
>>
>> B
>>    Jump Squats
>>    Half Squats
>>    Squat singles x 10, reset between reps, just working on hitting
>> depth comfortably with moderate loads
>>    Calf Raises
>>    RDL
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Measuring reminder:
5 toe to heel steps = 148cm
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Kingfish

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Re: grief
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2018, 11:43:07 am »
+2
you be strong and take care of your parents in this very challenging time.
5'10" | 202bs | 36 yrs
reach - 7'8" (92") |paused full squat - 475x1| standing VJ - 40"|

That which that does not kill us, makes us stronger.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Daily Squats Day 1 - Aug 30, 2011 and still going.

Final Phenom

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Re: grief
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2018, 01:41:50 pm »
+3
I'm so sorry for your loss. My moms sister is in a critical state and constantly getting worse and my mom lives across the world andits not financially feasible at the moment to be able to fly over. My mom feels so much guilt and loss of control, it's very hard for her and hard for my dad and i to deal with her instability but we do our best

One of my best friends from high school with an opiate addiction was trying to rehab and depressed but reaching out a lot. No one was there for him because he was in such a  bad state. He eventually got back on dope and overdosed. I kept thinking what I could have done to help and really piled on the guilt but in the end I shouldn't do that to myself. It's over now.

No matter what don't guilt yourself, you had no way of knowing. Try to be thankful for what you have. It will be hard for a while but we are here for you too

Dreyth

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Re: grief
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2018, 03:43:42 pm »
+2
Love you man, we're all here for you
I'm LAKERS from The Vertical Summit

gukl

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Re: grief
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2018, 12:00:27 pm »
+2
This is terribly sad, so sorry for your loss.

Thoughts are with you and the rest of your family. stay strong.

maxent

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Re: grief
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2018, 11:13:21 pm »
+2
Been thinking about you all week LBSS. Can't imagine the pain of losing a brother. That's heart breaking. I'm so sorry.
Making a new strength setpoint of 75/100/150 on OHP/BP/BS.