hey man snap out of it, get back on track! the best thing to do in those situations of odd "negativity" is to at least just get in there and do some maintenance work, which it sounds like you did.. congrats on your recent PR's mang.
Also, considering my birthday is the 25th of this month, I thought I'd make some specific goals to keep me motivated.
Before tearing my deltoid, I was up to 170 lb. bench for two reps at the end of a heavy workout. I'd like to get up to 180 for the same reps.
I never did squats with really clean form. I'd like to do 1.5x bodyweight for at least one rep.
you're not too far from that man, especially on squat.
I want to be at 140lbs.+ so I don't look like such a scrawny 18 year old.
All of this, I want by my 18th birthday. A gift to myself you can call it. I'm sick of being skinny, I'm sick of looking disproportionate, and I'm sick of being mediocre during track season. On my 18th birthday, I don't want to be self-conscious about the way I look. I'll be proud of what I am, and if I don't reach my goals, I want to at least be able to say, "I may not be what I want to be, but I've worked hard enough to earn it."
I've always been underestimated considering how thin I look. I want people to think I'm strong and fast, and surprise them with even more than they expected. I leave you with my friend's favorite quote. "I do it because I can. I can because I want to. I want to because you said I couldn't"
4/3/2 will make you strong, but you won't put on a ton of mass using that method.. i mean, a 3-4x8 then 1-3x5 kind of rotation would be stimulus for alot more mass.. all successful hypertrophy protocols have considerable time under tension per set, usually in the 5-12 rep range. combine that with proper diet/enough protein and you have a great stimulus for putting on a ton of mass.
just remember, regardless of the time restrictions we place on ourselves to meet goals, those are simply mental and may or may not actually happen. the key is just working as hard as possible with as much consistency as possible, if that is done, the goals will be met, maybe not in the time frames we CREATE, but those goals will definitely be met.
i've set plenty of time restrictions on goals, they usually take a bit longer than these manifestations my mind create.. it seems more like a way to just push myself to the max to reach those goals, which i think is the same for most people.. so just have fun, train hard, and try not to have any lengthy down periods or unneeded set backs, and you will be fine.
get jacked mang!@$!@
it's funny though, you're trying to put on some serious mass, i'm trying to become a human toothpick
i've been down your road though, i've gone from 142 to 180 to 165 during my 2 year vert journey.. getting to 180 had me eating a ton, 20 rep squatting 1x/week, and lifting with considerable volume on all of my upper/lower lifts.
peace man
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