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Progress Journals & Experimental Routines / Re: ADARQ's journal
« on: July 02, 2018, 01:17:39 pm »
look i didn't/don't expect a shoutout, but if you're going to give shoutouts to people who "doubled" both races, give me one perhaps.. since I literally tried to win both, and almost got it done. I mean these guys walked both races, props to them, I respect it and i'm happy for them. But I also risked injury to try and win both races. I pushed myself through some hell in the 2nd race to get that #2 spot.
stuff like this always happens with me in life.. i mean idgaf but, it's not like I don't notice. I didn't expect them to give a shoutout to anyone.. but once I saw it, it bothered me a little, not going to lie.
not sure if normal but, things like this stick in my mind .. and I remember them when i'm training/working towards something. I take little "slights", even if not intended, and I use them to grind harder. Always been something i've harnessed towards trying to work harder. I experienced alot of stuff like this growing up, with basketball, with dunking, with boxing, with computers. I've had several with racing so far & in the running community.
One example of a running community slight that i always remember is: everyone around me is in this "secret running group", i'm busting my ass, no invite. A year later or so, I get an invite. It's cool that I finally got an invite but, it's not like I didn't notice that people I had been training with, beating in races, etc etc, never mentioned it or invited me to it.
Whatever that "mental tick is" that I have, it's probably a good one in the context of pushing yourself to your limits.
Also FWIW, I try to get that stuff out of my head.. it just pops in randomly when i'm training etc, and helps me focus harder. It's not like I actively want to dwell on these things or go out and train angry, like I did with dunking. Man I had a ton of anger when I dunked, mostly due to the situation I was in with my grandpa. But the "haters" on yt/forums/inet etc definitely added more fuel to it. I'm pretty sure that's very obvious, given some of the videos I made. I try hard not to let any of that sink in with running.
But I guess when it comes down to it, I have some "scarring". With basketball, I had that piece of shit coach who told me straight up "we don't play black ball here". Took all of my hard work over many years, and just trashed it. With boxing, I had that gold medalist tell me "you have no heart" when I was in there sparring his pros who outweighed me by 20-30 lb with a fucked up hand (he didn't know it). Dude wouldn't even corner me and I started from 0, in one of his noob boxing classes, ended up sparring hard with his fighters and misc ATT fighters during afternoon sessions - so from 0 to that, no respect. With dunking I had a million haters, meanwhile there's guys out there doing similar stuff now on 9'9 rims getting mad love.
Maybe I just rub some people the wrong way.. I've always felt that to be the case. I'm usually driven and don't join any cliques, and don't conform too easily.
Anyway. I've never been an approval seeker. But I do notice when people ignore my hard work, which seems to happen alot.
Maybe people can just tell i'm a "threat"? I'm pretty friendly/supportive, but in competition *I* want to win.
I really want to dominate the racing scene down here. Need to stay healthy, stay focused, and get it done. I'll take the W's over recognition/shoutouts any day.
This is where my squad is.
pc
stuff like this always happens with me in life.. i mean idgaf but, it's not like I don't notice. I didn't expect them to give a shoutout to anyone.. but once I saw it, it bothered me a little, not going to lie.
not sure if normal but, things like this stick in my mind .. and I remember them when i'm training/working towards something. I take little "slights", even if not intended, and I use them to grind harder. Always been something i've harnessed towards trying to work harder. I experienced alot of stuff like this growing up, with basketball, with dunking, with boxing, with computers. I've had several with racing so far & in the running community.
One example of a running community slight that i always remember is: everyone around me is in this "secret running group", i'm busting my ass, no invite. A year later or so, I get an invite. It's cool that I finally got an invite but, it's not like I didn't notice that people I had been training with, beating in races, etc etc, never mentioned it or invited me to it.
Whatever that "mental tick is" that I have, it's probably a good one in the context of pushing yourself to your limits.
Also FWIW, I try to get that stuff out of my head.. it just pops in randomly when i'm training etc, and helps me focus harder. It's not like I actively want to dwell on these things or go out and train angry, like I did with dunking. Man I had a ton of anger when I dunked, mostly due to the situation I was in with my grandpa. But the "haters" on yt/forums/inet etc definitely added more fuel to it. I'm pretty sure that's very obvious, given some of the videos I made. I try hard not to let any of that sink in with running.
But I guess when it comes down to it, I have some "scarring". With basketball, I had that piece of shit coach who told me straight up "we don't play black ball here". Took all of my hard work over many years, and just trashed it. With boxing, I had that gold medalist tell me "you have no heart" when I was in there sparring his pros who outweighed me by 20-30 lb with a fucked up hand (he didn't know it). Dude wouldn't even corner me and I started from 0, in one of his noob boxing classes, ended up sparring hard with his fighters and misc ATT fighters during afternoon sessions - so from 0 to that, no respect. With dunking I had a million haters, meanwhile there's guys out there doing similar stuff now on 9'9 rims getting mad love.
Maybe I just rub some people the wrong way.. I've always felt that to be the case. I'm usually driven and don't join any cliques, and don't conform too easily.
Anyway. I've never been an approval seeker. But I do notice when people ignore my hard work, which seems to happen alot.
Maybe people can just tell i'm a "threat"? I'm pretty friendly/supportive, but in competition *I* want to win.
I really want to dominate the racing scene down here. Need to stay healthy, stay focused, and get it done. I'll take the W's over recognition/shoutouts any day.
This is where my squad is.
pc
