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« on: April 20, 2015, 08:21:46 am »
somehow ended up meeting justin verlander and having him offer for me to crash at his house while he was out pitching. i went to sleep in one of the guest rooms and woke up in the middle of the night to kate upton, wearing just a t-shirt or a nightie or something like that, crawling onto the bed. she was talking to me about something, seemed kind of out of it but she came over and kind of lay on top of me. started talking about how she'd lost justin's baby last summer. i was trying to figure out what to do, here's the girlfriend of this guy who's doing me a favor, who seemed really nice, and also i'm thinking of my gf.
but whoops now she's taken her clothes off and is naked and trying to make out with me, and it's KATE UPTON so i start kind of conflictedly making out with her. start fingering her and then i hear people coming home and push her off. realize she's bled onto my finger so i throw on some sweats and try to calm my boner while i run to the bathroom to wash my hand. one of justin's buddies comes into the bathroom and says hi. i play it cool; he asks to borrow a toothbrush so i run and grab a spare from my bag. somehow justin has gone into the guest room and found kate and is talking with her. i swear up and down to the friend that nothing happened, that she came in and lay down with me and i was resisting, and he believes me.
then we're out in the main room of the house, which is like a freaking shopping mall atrium, it's so huge, and i think "this is what you get when you make $20 million a year." we're waiting for justin to come out so i can explain to him what happened. then i woke up.