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Yup , don't think those "what the fuck am i doing? It ain't happening!" voices will stop. It gets worse. Work becomes more demanding, life gets more complicated, social responsibilities/obligations keep poping up, injuries start packing, recovery changes ( to worse ) , food partitioning changes ( to worse ), every previous year is better, if i continue writing i will be tempted to quit again!
You just need to... and i hate that word with passion... compromise! This is what we like doing , this is what fills us with that content joyful feeling, so this is what will keep doing.
What is that , trying to get from tomahawk to windmill OR trying to get from mid-palm to base-palm rim touch, it doesnt really matter.
Don't look back , don't look too forward , just make the most out of what you can and remember to enjoy it, we voluntarely chose to do this for fun!!!
Good job 33''   

 

^^^ thanks for the words and the link. i am bad at bounds and REALLY bad at SL bounds, as that video i posted a while back shows. not good at expressing strength off of one leg, for sure.

as it happens, i had a good workout last night. go figure.

WEIGHT: 175.5
SORENESS: right posterior delt
ACHES/INJURIES: left lateral delt, posterior head was bugging all day, no idea why
FATIGUE: low

- warm up

- sprint 10-12y x 5

- DLRVJ x ~10
hit 33 for the first time since august, i think. a few other jumps around 32, hanging on rim easily (i.e., without straining my elbow/shoulder). much better.

- ME MR half tuck 5 x 5
pretty good

- ME pogo 3 x 5
pretty good, and i'm usually awful at these

- squat 305 x 3,3,3 || 275 x 8,4 || 265 x 4,8
the second set of 275 was not happening, body was rocking all over the place. so i dropped to 265 to finish that set and then blasted through the last set with great speed. my friend said afterward that it was a "perfect squat." 

- SS1: dip x 15,10,10,10,5
- SS1: chin up x 10 || inverted row x 10,10,10,10
- info: 5 rounds, ~30s between exercises

- glute bridge x 10 @3s holds

- SS2: reverse hyper x 10
- SS2: ab pull down x 30
- info: 3 rounds, minimal rest. never done reverse hypers before, liked them a lot. choked way up on the pull downs, shit was hard.

- stretch

^^^ thanks for the post. that's true, and i just read through the last couple of months of entries. here's what i see:

1. hit recent PR in jumps and all-time rep PR in squat
2. normal
3. went to afghanistan
4. came back, reset squats
5. got talked into upping volume on squats by kingfish
6. found out gym was closing, freaked out
7. talked myself into doing an explosive regime and not worrying about pushing strength any further
8. court is unavailable for jumps
9. struggle when it is available
10. got sick
11. came back and was filled with joy just by being able to work out again
12. repeat 8-9
13. crisis of confidence

so what's up? i was cruising at the end of august/beginning of september, before i left for kabul. that's when i was drinking milkshakes and working 3x5. i haven't weighed myself in a couple of weeks but i've probably lost a couple of pounds. i've been abroad, i've been sick. both of those things have effects past the actual event. yesterday i freaked out because my mom asked me to help her with something but wouldn't tell me what it was until i showed up -- long story but that sets up some easy and not illogical leaps into dark territory with respect to my little brother. i got wound up and then was kind of spent after that. probably played some role in my shitty attempt at a workout last night. life happens, in other words. it's not an excuse, it's a fact for an amateur with a sick family member and a full-time job that requires regular long-haul travel.

perhaps i should take a deep breath, keep pushing my squat and my weight, but refocus warm ups and supplementary work on glutes. and every once in a while, take an extra day off and try to PR on jumps the next day in the gym. maybe what was working over the summer was consistency and good health and lots of eating, and my brother being healthy.

I see. So you did two cluster sets of 20.

and in each of those clusters you did 8-pause-6-pause-6

dreyth, you may be our greatest genius. good work.

SORENESS: edit: none
ACHES/INJURIES: left elbow during KB swings
FATIGUE: low

- warm up

- jumps with bands 2 x 3

- SLRVJ x 6

- two-step RVJ x 6

- depth jump 4 @ 22" | 4 @ 18"

- SVJ x 5

- random core shit

wanted to do real jumps but the fucking old guy game was taking up the whole court even though they were short handed. painful to watch those dudes play. they're so, so bad except for two somewhat younger guys, who are slumming in the game: both are skilled and could hold their own in regular pickup but i guess they're lazy. was supposed to do bounds and shit today but forgot until afterward. bah.

the jumps weren't bad, though, so that's a positive.

To me, that's a regular crossover. Not sure what's so impressive about that.

it's the moment, not the move. allen iverson, as a rookie, the most hyped rookie in a decade, going up against the michael freaking jordan, who was, among other things, one of the best if not the best one-on-one defenders in the NBA, and crossing him up.

it's one thing to cross up an AAU kid in a showcase game when you're an NBA talent. it's quite another to make michael jordan look foolish.

here's another thoughtful, even-handed piece on doping in sport and why people seem so gleeful about lance armstrong's fall from grace, from a psych professor in england.

http://www.sportsscientists.com/2012/10/sponsors-overboard-guest-post-on.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FcJKs+%28The+Science+of+Sport%29&utm_content=FaceBook

excerpt:

As with fairness, it may be rather simplistic to insist that doping-free sport eliminates risks. Elite sport in particular can reward all sorts of risk-taking, but opening the door to more drug use again seems to potentially worsen the problem. For this author at least it’s this issue of safety that finally leads to a parting of ways with Savulescu and Foddy. I’m not sure I can get comfortable with a sport where a legitimate route to winning is for young athletes to push the limits of pharmaceutical assistance. Should I be comfortable with sport that encourage pushing the limits in other ways? Perhaps not. But that doesn’t mean I want to open another avenue of risk. There is the possibility of improving safety with medical supervision, but a glance at the motley collection of doping medics who populate recent sport memoirs leaves me a little low on confidence that this would help.

The involvement of those dubious doctors, though, highlights a counter-argument and brings us back to the issue of illegality itself compromising safety. As with recreational drugs, if a substance is permitted there may be a greater incentive to improve its safety (rather than at present where the emphasis is on undetectability), and for people of greater integrity to become involved in its supervision. In the end the issue pivots on whether you can argue convincingly enough that, as in the case of something like heroin, prohibition actively contributes to the risks via dodgy suppliers, unsafe drugs or badly controlled administration. If someone could make this case might it change things?

and another excerpt:

Another way to look at it though is to consider the possibility that Armstrong is not quite as reprehensible as all that. It could be that we are seeing (as Tyler Hamilton and others have suggested) someone trapped inside a lie that’s too big for easy escape and driven by fear. Fear of failing, of discovery, of loss of the esteem which some still have. How would most people deal with that? How would you? Armstrong’s public stance of studied (or pretend) indifference is quite agonising to watch. It may be that that he is simply an ordinary person, albeit in extraordinary circumstances, with weaknesses and flaws like the rest of us. And this is the heart of his problem: if you’re Lance Armstrong, the journey to just being an ordinary guy is a long, long way down.