Author Topic: The Starting Strength Church  (Read 51390 times)

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anonymous

  • Guest
The Starting Strength Church
« on: August 10, 2012, 01:00:37 pm »
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Hello members,

We are launching the cult of "Starting Strenght", the only cult where GOMAD is an actual religious demand.

We would like to accept any GOMAD followers and we are open in receiving subscriptions through private messages. We wait for your confirmation!
 
GOMAD!

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2012, 01:33:14 pm »
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  This is awesome!  count me in.  I promise to GOMAD, repeat Rippetoe quotes on every forum I pass through, as well as never do any exercise nor exercise variation, not featured in STARTING STRENGTH. 

Oh and even though I have nothing against Glenn Pendlay, I promise to hate him and and everything he does, will also include frequent posts on his lifters not wanting to get stronger.  can I join you guise?

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2012, 02:12:20 pm »
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We are free minded people, but you will have to prove to us your manly physique by including a picture of you having a no lower than 25% bodyfat. 24% is accepted, but it's a stretch, and you will have to work hard to make sure no 6-pack abs or anything remotely close to that is being observable.

We will accept you @ 24% but that's only because we're a generous bunch of believers, and we cannot judge people so harsh, especially newbies. Afterall, GOMAD will take care of that pretty quickly, and we accept the challenge of proving that GOMAD does indeed hide abs and make you look manly.

Obviously we also appreciate chest hair - we don't want men who look like pussies in our church - we are homophobes and hairless chests promoto homophilia - we strongly dislike such behaviours.

Meanwhile you will also need to post a video of you doing hip driven squats. We love men that aren't afraid to show their hips working as they should.

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2012, 02:37:17 pm »
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Here's what you should aim for in order to be considered manly:


anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2012, 03:26:42 pm »
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I'm newbie and what is this

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2012, 03:30:16 pm »
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I'm newbie and what is this

See, this is not a good way to start your Starting Strength Church worship. We are open minded but we do not accept ignorance. You're excused.

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2012, 03:34:37 pm »
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HI GAYS ive been doing STARTING STRENGTH for 5 weeks, making great gains, ive put on 15lb of useful MUSCULAR bodyweight and my squat has gone up from 3x5x135 to 3x5x185. i'm 5'9", 195lb, a bit fluffy around the middle but it doesn't show much, my pants are only 38" (hehe). AM I DTFP??

/cunty22

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2012, 03:58:02 pm »
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If you want to be an active member of our community, you might qualify. You must provide a picture of your 25%+ bodyfat, it's essential for our purposes.

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2012, 04:39:52 pm »
+1
IM EXHAUSTING LINEAR PROGRESSION, STEP BACK, I GOT THIS

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2012, 04:45:06 pm »
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Another thing - we would prefer not to see any footage of you half squatting. Such a feat is a terrible sin in our church.

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2012, 05:01:25 pm »
+1
HI GAYS ive been doing STARTING STRENGTH for 5 weeks, making great gains, ive put on 15lb of useful MUSCULAR bodyweight and my squat has gone up from 3x5x135 to 3x5x185. i'm 5'9", 195lb, a bit fluffy around the middle but it doesn't show much, my pants are only 38" (hehe). AM I DTFP??

/cunty22

(smiles  :D), you sir, are NDTFP. 15 pounds? (laughs hysterically).  Listen, starting strength + gomad is FUCKING GREATER THAN STEROIDS YOU FOOL! 38 inch inseam, (dies), thats not even the width of my second chin you fitness model. DTFP!

(rip if you see this you do not have to post it, please however acknowledge my presence and parroting via pm if you feel so inclined.) thank you, I love you.

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2012, 05:12:12 pm »
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Dear sirs, let's keep this decent. We don't condone derisority in our church.

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2012, 08:36:42 pm »
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Here's what you should aim for in order to be considered manly:



 I think he's utterly perfect.

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2012, 06:22:23 am »
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Yes he is. That's why we said "this is the model to follow". You won't be able to achieve his level of perfection (he's an old follower of our church) but you need to strive towards looking that manly. It's simple.

anonymous

  • Guest
Re: The Starting Strength Church
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2012, 12:54:36 pm »
+3
HAI I AM COUCH RIPPED TOE

THE SO CALLED HOLYMPIC SQUAT OR THE HIGH BAR SQUAT IS AN UNCOACHED SQUAT. WE DO NOT DO THE HOLYMPIC HERE. THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE IS HAVING PEOPLE SQUATTING IN A PERFECTLY NATURAL MANNER SINCE IT DOES NOT INVOLVE READING THE FUCKING BOOK, MY MAGNUS OPUS STARING STRENTH 3RD EDITION. I USE 100S OF PAGES TO TEACH THE ONLY GOOD TECHNIQUE AND WITHOUT IT YOU ARE DOOMED. 2ND EDITION DOESNT CUT IT, YOU NEED THE LATEST EDITION TO LEARN THE UPDATED LOWBAR 3.0 EDITION.